The Heckler

You know that voice that keeps rudely interrupting my posts? Like him? Hate him? I call this character "the heckler". This page is the official archive of all of the Heckler's hecklerings. The heckler doesn't get a label, because his apperances are so short and unrelated to the post. Therefore, this list is maintained by hand.


June 2011

Review: Chim Chum and the Portly Samurai
  • I’m going to start with Adrian Ropp’s hilarious comic, Chim Chum and the Portly Samurai: A Daily Webcomic
    Oh, uh… no reason.

May 2011

Now a Deviant
  • Okay, that example just came right out of nowhere.

After 22 years, I finally saw it
    It even was BLAM.
    image: Killer, a bespecled dog, "mans" a machine gun; the recoil of which sends him flying backwards.
    No, not that kind of "blam"

About "text-only version"s
  • But why? Why did you do that?
  • You still haven't answered my question: Why did you do that?!?
  • Yes, but, why did you do that?!?
  • whyyyyyyyy diiiid youuuuuu do that?!?

April 2011

The Web Standards
  • Two weeks ago, I got a commission to design a website.
    What? you do that too?
    Oh, hush up.
  • Hey, you said you wouldn't play with vertical space anymore!
    And so I did. Sorr– wait, didn't I tell you to hush up?
  • Cascading Style Sheets were nothing more than a dream when I learned how to make web pages.
    You've been making web pages for eleven years without using Style Sheets?!? How did you survive?
    I said, hush up!

Containing Awesomeness
  • "Ha, ha. Very funny. And that means…?"

The Legend of Zelda: 25 years pushing the envelope
  • …the main body of this post will be dedicated to The Legend of Zelda;–
    "What? But this is not a gaming blog!"
    But that doesn't take away the merits of the series, nor of researching its history, so hush.

February 2011

The Ophiuchus frenzy also got to me
  • Heckler: What have you got against bloggers?
    Me: (pointing to something off-panel) Not you, other stupid bloggers
    Heckler: Oh alri– wait, what?

Pro Crass Ti Nation (or, the stealthy joke you probably missed)
  • In panels 8 and 9 of my apology, Jane comes in to whack me with a book.
    "I can see that. The question is 'why?'"
    Well, she's an avid reader and the rolling pin was not at hand.
    "What? No! I mean why does she– You did that on purpose, didn't you?"


December 2010

Screw the colors, I have hurry
  • There are only 9 more days until Christmas and I–
    "9 more shopping days until Christmas"
  • Pencil drawing: Jane points the blunderbuss from the Thanksgiving Special straight at the camera. "Do not! Argue with! The stressed-out man!" she cries.

November 2010

How did you do that?
(Post title)

Character page
  • "I don't care what you say, I'm not saying anything helpful!" Sis cries back, disaprovingly. "You never do," interjects the heckler.
  • "Wha– three?!? I have trouble thinking of just one! What are you trying to do, scare your professors into working with you?" Well, no. I was hoping that, if they were going to dismiss me on grounds that they weren't interested in what I was thinking, they would at least be interested in one of the other two, right? "No" At least one of them? "Let me think... No!"
  • There was one other that was interested, but said he didn't have the time. He did ask me if I would be interested in starting my thesis in May, though. "That means he really was interested!" Okay, sure, but I need to graduate someday.
  • You cannot take any more subjects once you've done everything the curriculum, with the exception of a foreign language. "So? start in May and take a foreign language!" Oh, sure, then I'll be doing two semesters under the minimum credit limit. "Take two foreign languages!" Aaaargh!

Expunge your vocabulary
  • "Oh, come on! You can't spend your life traumatized because you had to move!" Actually, it's not a trauma. This taught me how the world works and why it is in the shape it's in. "Round?" Quiet.
  • I believe it's easier to get your point across when you don't have to send your interlocutor to the dictionary (like I probably just did with you).
    "Hey, I know perfectly 'interlocutor' is just a short way to say 'the person you're talking to'!" Didn't I tell you to keep quiet? "Uh... no?"
  • What you're probably wondering– "I'm not–" What the rest of you are probably wondering...
  • "So... publish and you automatically become smarter." Wha--? No, that's not how it works!

October 2010

Someone to introduce you to
"There’s someone I’d like you to meet.   "...Though, you kind of know her already..."   "Aha!" interrupts the heckler. "So it's a 'her'!" 
"Shaddup," I say, annoyed.

Something to tell you
Mouse avatar: Hi! You may remember that, some time ago, I mentioned that I’d be posting a couple of stories on this blog. Heckler: No.
Mouse: What?
Heckler: No, you didn’t! I know for a fact that the poster was a human.   Mouse: Y– y– you don’t understand! I’m his avatar! I can speak as him without any repercussions!   Heckler: Really?
Mouse: Really.   Heckler: Oh, okay. Carry on then.
Mouse: (facepalms.) Never mind. We’ll try this again tomorrow.

September 2010

Autum begins beautifully
  • Today is the equinox (get the rake ready) but it is also the night of a truly beautiful full moon.
  • "That's all very nice, but why does it even matter?"
The "when" of "now"
  • "Bah, it's English, get used to it." Let me tell you, it gets worse in Spanish.

August 2010

Making my avatar: The hard part
  • All I could get from these drawings was that the neck I had drawn earlier had to transition smoothly into the body, and that it was 2½ times longer than the height of the head. "Well, that's plenty! The computer should be able to do the rest, right?" Wrong.

July 2010

Again on the library
  • Well, that's enough ranting for today. I have to get to the library. "What? but it's summer!"

It's a miracle
  • So, I've passed all my courses. "What? That's the title 'miracle'? I thought you said you were a 'mostly-all-A' student; what's the big deal?"
  • I crunched the numbers back then [when I got my scholarship], and my GPA means I'm on a "three strikes, you're out" situation: fail three subjects –any three– and lose the scholarship. I've already failed one. If I failed this one, I'd only have one "strike" left. "But surely you managed to raise your GPA since then, didn't you?" Not nearly enough.

June 2010

Obligatory World Cup post
  • In the end, I ended up watching both games in their entirety, and regretted it. "Sure, now he regrets not working on the huge projects he's got due next week. He regretted it because he's gonna be stressed out all weekend! But when he was watching the opening match –savor that for a moment: the... opening... match!– he surely wasn't regretting it! He's just being a hypocrite!"

Note: the heckler didn't exsit before then. What is shown below is the type of comments I made that eventually evolved into that character.

May 2010

How the Library works
  • At the very, very bottom are the TA's, short for Teaching Assistants. (Yes, we know there isn't exactly classes to be taught in a library, but the name is more of a payroll-enforced thing we have to deal with.)

The deal with the food
  • I also got a feeling that the people who are going to comment are just going to lash out at the board. Oh well.

About my display picture
  • I looked to the other, and noticed many readers, and its author, identified it as a "furry comic". (Don't laugh when I tell you I had to look up what that meant.)
  • Here's where the girls usually say, "but there are many cute things that fit that description! Why go for a disgusting, scurrying, squeaking, hairy mouse?"