Monday, November 7, 2011

What's this? An actual blog post?

Image: Frank the mouse, in winter clothes (color), watches in surprise as a younger mouse (pencil) trundles a hoop made from the outer part of a 1-euro coin past the curb where he's sitting.
Preliminary image. Will be finished later
Of course, I've never actually
taken apart a coin, so I don't know if
this is even possible…
Nor do I encourage you to try

For weeks, I haven’t been able to focus on my studies. The fact is, I keep worrying about money. Maybe It’s the fact that my scholarship wasn’t paid for two months. Maybe it’s the fact that three-quarters of the people I went to high school with have graduated from college and I haven’t. Maybe I’ve been reading too much on how people in their thirties and forties who don't have money get money. Maybe I've simply grown too old for the "college" life. Whichever it is, somehow, I can barely complete a simple math problem before my thoughts turn, in some form or another, to money.

The frustrating part is that I already know what I’m going to do for money once I graduate, and I know exactly how I’m going to do it, yet the questions keep coming back, haunting me like some undead monster. I crunch away at them, desperately fixing the numbers which are still vague to me, in hopes that the thoughts will finally go away and leave me alone!

But no luck

This past weekend I did something I never do: I did nothing. I didn’t touch any of my projects, I didn't open a book, I didn't draw anything, I didn’t write a single line of code, I didn’t even do a single arithmetic operation! I went from the kitchen, to the TV, and back. And you know what? I woke up this morning ready to tackle some math problems; ready to do all the studying I needed. And for a while, I was doing great! Covariance, Quaternions… I was knocking down exercises of all kinds! Turns out I totally needed that rest. But I needed to get to class.

There had been a major accident on the highway and the bus I usually take to get to campus wasn’t running. With the help of a few friends, we made a pool to pay a cab to get to class on time. Just my luck, the cab driver had been “out of town” checking on “his inheritance” and kept going on about how “money has to be spent, it don’t do ya no good saved up.”

Well, blast him! I’m writing this to see if it helps me put all these thoughts out of my head.

My big test is on Thursday.